It all started with a pothole...

and thus began my most unlucky streak in of all time. Ok. I don't really believe in the idea of "good luck" or "bad luck". But, call it whatever you want... it all started Thursday.

Thursday, 3:00pm:
I get on my bike for an hour ride. I'm all geared up, ready to go and head out. I'm cruising like Lance Armstrong minus the fancy bike and failed marriage and feeling fantastic about how far I've ridden, how good I feel and how I'm almost done. I've snaked my way 10+ miles through beautiful tree lined streets on an absolutely perfect afternoon and with just about 15 minutes to go in my 60 minute workout, I'm ready to shoot a straight shot home.

FAIL #1:

STUPID POTHOLE

My back tire blows. Not just seeps a slow leak. But POP! Blows. I am now about 5 miles from my house, where Al is home with a napping baby. Hmm. Two choices. Walk 100 yards to the local bike shop and see if they will repair it with the plea that I'll return with payment or find a way to call Al to get me. I let my pride get the better of me and decided against what would have been the wise choice.

FAIL #2:

HOW MAY I DIRECT YOUR CALL?

I walk about 1/4 mile to a train station with a payphone, where I realize if I'd carried my cell phone and/or a bank card of some kind, I'd be in much better shape right now. I am forced to do the unthinkable, COLLECT CALL ON A PAYPHONE using the debit card number I've committed to memory. This will hitherto be referred to as HUGE DUMB MISTAKE. I get a ride from my super-sister who gets my deflated bike and grumpy self home in one piece.

Friday, 8:00pm
I head out to tackle some birthday gift shopping and a huge grocery trip to my little slice of heaven on earth, Wegmans. I'm looking forward to a few hours of kid-free bliss while getting some errands done and indulging in my ONCE A MONTH TREAT: Wegman's Hot Cocoa with way too much whipped cream.

FAIL #3:

DECLINED

Stop 1: Dick's Sporting goods for birthday gifts,

"I'm sorry miss, you card has been declined." This is where HUGE DUMB MISTAKE catches up with me. Uh. What? I'm the money person in the house. I KNOW how much money is linked to that account down to the penny. That simply can't be possible. So, utterly humiliated I pull out the cell phone and ask if I can put the purchase on hold while I figure out what is going on with my card. I start out kind of annoyed. I move quickly past annoyed to stewing and then rapidly to angry in the 15 minutes I spend on hold with the bank. All while standing there as each customer passes me by giving me "the look". You know.. "Ohhh.. your card is... DECLINED!"

FAIL #4:
HUGE DUMB MISTAKE

HUGE DUMB MISTAKE "collect call company" is some kind of bogus sheister who has put several holds on my account from several different states over the past 2 days, which flagged my account and caused my bank to freeze our money. A fact they apparently couldn't actually communicate to me until I went to use the card. So, while I let them know that I am indeed alive, well and still in possession of my card, they let me know that I'll have to figure out what charges are legit and file all kinds of disputes and claims to get the other charges lifted, which will no doubt take nothing short of a congressional act to iron out. Sigh. The good news, since I do have the card in hand, they will unfreeze the hold.

Fail #5:

Pretty Princess Ice cream

Stop #2, Wegman's Coffee Bar, 8:45
I can't blame them for having one person working at 9:00. It certainly seems reasonable. However, unreasonable is the 7 year old princess who has insisted on a spoon sample of all 12 gelati flavors. And while I love children dearly and have vowed to NEVER judge what another parent has to do to survive shopping with a child, I am a bit perplexed as we all stand by while Pretty Princess Ice cream samples every single flavor, one by one by one by one by one.

I admire the patience of the one worker who hauls each tub out, digs a sample on a teeny plastic teaspoon, hands it over, awaits the reaction, rinse lather repeat.. twelve times. FINALLY we all celebrate her selection of "Coconut" as drool drips from my chin because I'm gazing at the fancy machine that will whip up my ONCE A MONTH indulgence. Then, when I think I may get my turn, her dad says he has to find the mom to get her flavor choice. Oh for Heaven's sake! Get the poor woman a chocolate and make it large. Lord knows she'll need it if Pretty Princess Ice cream has anything to do with it. Ten minutes later.. my turn! I order up my large, whip cream topped hot cocoa and precariously roll out to the produce section.

FAIL #6:

My Coordination

Yes. I did. For the first time ever in the history of Me, I spilled the stinking 24 ounces of chocolate dreaminess and whipped cream delight all over. Everything. I didn't just slurp a little over the edge. I dropped the entire cup. On my produce. On my bag. On my "go green" Wegman's bags. All 15 of them. And best of all, on the ground, a lot of it. I stood there horrified as the three teen workers all kind of gaped and snorted. Then, I about died when they actually reached for the phone and did the whole "Uh.. clean up in produce" drill. And, I only got a few measly sips before I pitched the darn thing overboard. Meh.

On a moderately good note, I managed to get through the rest of the shopping trip without any other catastrophic FAILs.

FAIL #7:

The Vinegar Bottle

As I'm rocking out hard core to my "Miss Saigon" soundtrack, in my slammin' Sienna on the way home, I noticed a smell that does not seem to fit. Not the usual 'kind of stinky kid-inhabited diaper/goldfish/summer feet' type smell. No. This is DISTINCTLY white vinegar. Now, I happen to love this smell. I love it so much I clean with it. As a matter of fact, I bought two bottles tonight. Huh. That is pretty funny. I'm REALLY smelling the vinegar AND I happen to have two bottles in the car. Huh. Thinking.. thinking... calculating.

Oh for Pete's sake one of the bottles is leaking, moron! It doesn't smell THAT good THROUGH the bottle. In the one good stroke of luck over the past 24 hours, the bag happens to be within reach and the bottle happens to be on top. I'm able to secure the lid without plowing anyone off the road or missing a beat of "It's Her or Me". At least the Sienna smells good. It's all chocolate and vinegar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I shouldn't be surprised that the
grocery store played a big part in my streak.
It's not the first time I was struck by
bad mojo at the supermarket.

And that, my friends, is likely the longest streak of bad luck in my recent memory.
(And the longest Little Footprints blog entry of all time.)

Here's to an uneventful weekend!